How our Mental State Affects our Physical

Processed with VSCO with hb2 presetOur bodies are amazing and it’s even more amazing how our mental state can affect our physical body so much. If we are in a good place mentally, our bodies usually feel good. If it is the reverse and our mental state is not in a good place, then our bodies are going to feel the affects. We know this all too well and have seen the changes our own bodies have experienced mainly during times that were stressful or upsetting.

Processed with VSCO with hb2 preset

Hey, it’s Sweetness! In this post, I’m going to share my own experiences on how my body was affected by my mental state due to some recent events I went through.  

Going through a breakup with my fiance was a very difficult time for me. I was trying to make the relationship work, however we were both unsure of what to do to make things better. It was extremely stressful and not to mention I was living in California with no friends or close family nearby to turn to. Going through this time obviously had affects on my mental state, however it was when I noticed the changes to my body that I knew something had to change.

I’m definitely a fit and healthy person in general, however when I was going through this difficult time, I noticed that I started losing weight without trying. I am NOT a stress eater, in fact I actually turn away from food, so my appetite was practically non-existent. I was getting really skinny in an unhealthy way and felt horrible. My energy was low, I felt really weak and tired all the time. Not to mention I almost felt like I always had a cold. My throat was hurting, I had an awful cough, however I knew I was not sick. It was purely stress. Wow, scary right?! They say that stress is the silent killer and I couldn’t agree more.

Processed with VSCO with hb2 presetThough this is not something positive, I wanted to share it because I want others that may be experiencing something similar to understand that this is not a healthy way to live. My relationship unfortunately ended and even though I was upset, over time this “stressful” feeling subsided. At the end of the day, taking care of your mind and body is most important so doing whatever you need to do to make sure you are at your best should be priority, especially if others rely on you! Make sure to keep eating well, getting plenty of sleep, and make time to meditate or relax when going through a hard time. Trust me, your body will thank you!

Xo Sass and Sweetness

Moving Means Big Changes!

 

Processed with VSCO with c3 preset

Aside from relationships, another huge change that both of us have experienced is moving! We are both born and raised in New Jersey and went to school out of state, which was when the first big move out of our comfort zones happened. Sweetness went to University of Delaware and lived at school all four years and Sass went to Georgetown University and not only lived in Washington, DC during college, but for 5 years after too!

It seems pretty obvious that with moving comes change, however our moves were definitely more complicated and extensive than that. We are sharing our experiences and how to adjust to the changes that moving brings along as well as the new life you will experience!

Processed with VSCO with c3 preset

Sass:

Hola, Sass here! So, as we’ve already mentioned I lived in Washington, DC for college and upon graduating, I moved home to New Jersey to figure out what I was going to do with my life. Well, that lasted for all of 4 months before I picked up and move back to DC. I moved back because I had a sense of independence in DC that I was unable to achieve at home in New Jersey. I knew I could get my bartending job back just in time for football season and continue to look for a job both in NJ and in DC in the meantime because I never intended on staying in DC very long.

But then don’t ya know it, 2 months after I moved to DC, I met my now husband and 6 months after moving there we were officially unofficially dating and the rest is history as they say. As he is born and raised right outside of DC, it looked like I was bound to the area forever.

That all changed, however, when a job opportunity presented itself for him in Boston, MA. You all know that I credit this move and the year we spent there as one our best years yet; it was the best experience. Within that year we got preggers and as you know, moved home to New Jersey.

So not only have I moved states several times but within those states I’ve lived in 5 apartments (not including college) so moving and I are no strangers. The process is an actual b*tch but each time I get more and more efficient. Boxes? Oh I’ve labeled each side with absurdly descriptive descriptions, like embarrassingly descriptive but who knows where any item is when I need it? THIS GIRL.

But all kidding aside, my recommendation is to be as organized as possible, even over the details that you don’t think will really matter or that you take for granted when you are in a routine. For example, you will want internet set up ASAP, you will need a place to sleep immediately, you will want to know where to order delivery from the first night, and you will need to take off a day from work. I’ve attempted the “no days off” thing when moving and it really makes for a stressful first day at work in a new place or even in your same city just trying to find your stuff!

IMG_0080.JPG

Sweetness:

Hey everyone, it’s Sweetness! As mentioned above, I have lived in New Jersey and Delaware during my childhood and college years. After college I moved back to NJ until I met my ex. We both lived in NJ for about a year, however he was from California and wanted to move back home. For me it was a no-brainer at first! I have always loved Cali (I dated a guy in college that was from there too!) and thought it would be really awesome to live in a state that pretty much everyone dreams of living in.

So off I went to LA to live with my ex and bring on a whole new life. I had these thoughts that every day would be sunny (which it was), we would go to the beach all the time (um hello, have you heard about the traffic?!), and also that we would have an amazing group of friends that we would always do fun things with (did I mention we lived in LA…). Though the sun was always shining and the beaches were beautiful, California was a different experience for me than I thought. It took over an hour to go 10 miles, which limited our travel to about a 2 mile radius and the people I experienced in LA were not the most welcoming with open arms.

My expectations before the move were high and when I first got there, though it was exciting, it was MUCH harder than I thought. Yes, it was fun going to Home Goods and finally having my own space with my then boyfriend, but boy do you realize how much in a routine you were in your last place you lived to only realize EVERYTHING changes. Like literally everything, even those small things that you don’t realize, which we will be talking about in our next post!  

So we believe everyone should step out of their comfort zone and make a move that will give you a new experience, just make sure to really evaluate the move before you do it! You will miss things about the old place you lived and love things about this new place. Sometimes this will be great, sometimes they will be not so great. Keep your expectations low and if you are struggling and having a hard time, make sure you have someone you can turn to!

Xo Sass and Sweetness

Dealing with Changes After a Breakup

Processed with VSCO with c3 presetAh breakups. The hardest part about a breakup is… well… everything. Whether it is for better or worse, breaking up and dealing with the after effects is definitely not easy, regardless of the situation. Though breakups are often thought of as negative, we do want to discuss how it can have a positive impact on you, even if you don’t see it right away. So we are sharing how the changes associated with a variety of different breakups can teach you lessons and change your life in a good way!

Processed with VSCO with c3 preset

So let’s look at this from a few different perspectives. Let’s say in the first scenario, you were just not that into the guy. You may be dating him for companionship or because it is “easy” or “safe” but you don’t see the long term with this person. Sooo you end it and think things will be all honky dory… and they’re not. You may feel sad because you are now alone, however you may also feel guilty that you hurt someone else’s feelings. Either way these are totally normal feelings, however in this situation you have to be a little selfish. If you weren’t truly happy with this person then it was the right decision to end things! You are the one that needs to make the appropriate changes to get what you want out of life. The feelings of loneliness will only be temporary and the guy you broke up with is a big boy and will move on… at some point. So in this situation it is important to tear off the bandaid and don’t settle!

Processed with VSCO with c3 preset

Next scenario… someone that you were really into broke up with you. Yes, it’s hard. Yes, it sucks. It is okay to cry, mourn, deal with the pain. After the breakup happens, you are going to be reminded of this person all.the.time. You are going to compare other guys to him all.the.time. Do we want to lie and say oh it will be fine and easy?! Hell no! It is going to be straight up plain hard. But guess what?? There was a reason this happened. This was not meant to be and you will find out why one day, even if it’s in a few days, a year, or 10 years from now. And maybe you even know the reason why but you are trying to deny it in your head. Either way, some days will be hard, however when you keep busy and surround yourself with the ones that truly love and care about you, you will see that is how you should be treated all the time. The guy that you end up marrying will worship you and will want to be with you no matter what. So though this change is going to suck, trust us there’s plenty of benefits in the long run!

Processed with VSCO with c3 preset

The last scenario is probably the hardest. You are in a relationship that is not healthy and regardless of who makes the break, it won’t be an easy one. The feelings and changes you experience will go far beyond heartbreak. You may experience a loss in confidence or motivation. You may not feel like yourself and be hidden in your shell. You might not know how to live life without this person anymore, and we don’t mean in a good way. If you were in a relationship with someone that was controlling, jealous, or even abusive, there are unfortunately going to be a lot of after effects. Moving on from a relationship like this is tough and finding yourself again is even tougher. One of the best recommendations we can make is to start doing the things YOU enjoy. Do what made YOU happy before this relationship started or before it turned south. You will start to realize that you turned into a person that wasn’t you and you need to make sure you take care of yourself first! Also talking to someone is extremely helpful whether it be a professional or even just a friend! Making these small changes to get back to where you used to be are extremely important! You will find that you’ll become a much happier, healthier, and better version of yourself not being in an unhealthy relationship anymore.

We hope that you find some of these suggestions and reasons insightful! Whether it applies to you or someone you might know, it is most important to have support during a break up… but there’s always pizza too! So hold your heads up pretty ladies and start making small changes day by day – because you deserve to be treated like a queen!!

Xo Sass and Sweetness

5 Types of Friends you Should Remove

Processed with VSCO with c3 preset

Processed with VSCO with c3 preset

Processed with VSCO with c3 presetThis topic is a tough one because it’s going to sound harsh, however we really want to make it positive and inspiring. The point behind it is to remove any negativity from your life and to realize that the types of friends we are describing below don’t deserve to be your friend for one reason or another. If being friends with someone is “hard work” or “stressful” then why are you friends with them? Friendship should be easy, rewarding, supportive, and fun. It shouldn’t contain jealousy, bullying, or blame. Now again keeping in mind that friendship is a relationship so there will be points of conflict or disagreement, however in small doses and for valid reasons. If you do find yourself involved with a friend that we describe below, we think it is best for you to move on from that friendship. Let us know if you agree!

 

  1. The friend that creates drama

 

Luckily for both of us, these friends have been long gone since high school! No one wants someone that is always drama filled, especially as life continues to get harder as we get older. These types of people feed off of drama and almost need it in their life. If you find that your friend is always starting an argument with you from something very insignificant or you are always walking on eggshells with this person, you should say bye bye bye.

  1. The friend that chooses a man over you

Ohhh this is a personal favorite!! We could go on and on about this one but we will keep it as short as possible. It’s exactly what it seems… a friend that constantly chooses a man over you does not deserve to be your friend. Now there is a difference (and trust us we aren’t completely innocent with this one); friends are going to hang out with their significant others, it’s a given. The difference though is if you make plans with this friend and then they either cancel because their man suddenly became available or they try to be sneaky and make some sort of excuses to why they can’t hang out. Also, if you had a single friend that suddenly gets into a relationship and you never hear from them again, tell them you hope that relationship lasts because you won’t be here if they try to come crawling back! (too harsh? Nah!)

  1. The flake friend

Somewhat similar to above where this person suddenly cancels plans, however it might not be because they are in a relationship. They just cancel for no reason and “disappear” for a few weeks before they resurface again. They can’t be relied on and you should not fully commit your Saturday night to them because chances are … they will cancel. It is like they almost make plans with you and then decide to go elsewhere if there’s a better option for them. We don’t recommend keeping a friend like this in your life, however if you do, you should set the expectation with yourself ahead of time that they probably won’t stick to the plan.

  1. The friend that doesn’t reciprocate support

This is the friend that expects support from you, however does not give it in return. They expect for you to be available and to be there for them at the drop of a hat, however when you suddenly need them, they aren’t there. A friendship is a two way street and you should equally be there for each other. At one point or another one of you will need the strength of the other person, that’s what friendship is for! Also, even in regards to going out and having fun. If someone is constantly expecting you to come out with them when they invite you, however when you invite them and they don’t come out, is that even a friendship anyway?

5. The friend that has bad habits 

We all have flaws, however this friend has some bad habits that might suddenly start affecting your life. Whether they party too much, don’t take care of themselves, or are constantly negative; you may find that their habits are starting to have an affect on your own life. Someone that is always wanting to go out in the middle of the week may be hard to say no to at first. If you find that you are now falling under their influence and it is something that you do not agree with, it is okay to be selfish and choose yourself over them!