How could we forget about work friends?! They are the ones that get you through the 9-5, the ones that you can roll your eyes at when your boss pisses you off, and the only ones that truly understand how freakin’ annoying Sue is over in Accounting (sorry Sue). We believe that work friends come in all different varieties and no matter how you look at it, they are definitely needed!
Creating A Bond
Work is a huge part of our lives and whether you love or hate what you do, if you’re human, you have moments when you just have to vent about a client, a project, or co-worker (cough Sue cough). In our experience, there is nothing quite like the bond of people at work that have a shared negative experience, a shared pet peeve, or a common enemy. This may not be our proudest or most positive revelation but it’s certainly an honest one. You might at first tip toe around each other, sending out feelers for how that person feels and as soon as the discovery is made that you’re on the same page….LOOK OUT! The floodgates are open! Any opportunity you have to commiserate over the issue, the project, or mostly like the person, you take it and while it kinda feels bad, doesn’t it also feel really good?! This person becomes irreplaceable because unlike venting to your sigo or friend, you don’t have to explain the who, what, and where’s of the story before getting to the annoying part:
You: So, we have this deadline every Monday for these reports that are tedious but not that hard…
Your Sigo/Friend: What are the reports about?
You: [Explaining this couldn’t be more irrelevant to the story but ok…] Well, they are a collection of our numbers from last week and a projection of our numbers for the coming week and…
Your Sigo/Friend: Oh nice and who do you send them to?
You: [Mentally eye-rolling] PEOPLE! What’s important is that so-and-so and I came in super early to complete them, we did them perfectly and then Sue from accounting looked at them, who according to her job title should be much better at these reports than we are, changed a bunch of stuff and then had us send them in with wrong info. Then the higher-ups responded back with a nasty email about why they were wrong and Sue let us take the fall.”
Your Sigo/Friend: Why should Sue be better at the reports than you are?
You: [Takes bottle of wine to the face] THAT IS SO NOT THE POINT!
Meanwhile with your work bestie, literally all you have to do is look at each other and he or she knows all of that and more about the situation, how it makes you feel, and why. This is a person that you simply can’t live without…..and definitely a person you need to drink with, do yoga with, and basically do anything to relieve yourselves of this stress!
All of that rant being said, creating a bond doesn’t always have to be a bond against the worst boss ever, against Sue, or against the 40 deadlines you have, it can also be formed out of respect. Respect at work is major because you want to know that the people around you are working as hard as you are, right? Have you ever worked on a team that either in your mind, or said out loud, was the DREAM TEAM? We have! The dream team is a well-oiled machine, no drama, get sh!t done, and gets it done early kinda team. Each person has his or her strengths that compliments the strengths of the other members. This is the crew that you want to go to happy hour with, the crew you want at your wedding, the crew that makes working with anyone else ever again seem totally stupid.
When the Bond Goes Too Far?
The bonds we create at work can be tricky when the “work husband” jokes feel like there’s some truth to them. At work there is a bit more freedom in making flirty remarks or conversation because there’s less pressure and there’s a guarantee that you are seeing this person pretty much every day. While on paper, and according to HR, that would deter people from pursuing romantic gestures, it creates an environment where the pressure is removed. There is no pressure to come up with the most witty pick up line. There’s no pressure to ask for someone’s number and there isn’t an assumption that sex is on the table simply because you enjoy each other’s company the way there might be when you meet someone on a Saturday night at a bar. Removing this pressure allows coworkers to get to know each other at a more realistic pace and on a day-in and day-out basis, which is why so many couples meet at work.
Then again, we’ve been faced with situations where you might mistake a romantic situation for simply a friendship. Since you are at work, you are primarily just being yourself. So your “work husband” is getting to know you in so many different ways, not just how he would on a date. They see the good side, the pissed off side, and the “I’m f*ing exhausted” side on a pretty regular basis. With that level of comfort and no pressure, you may let your guard down so much so that the friendship gets mistaken as something more than that. You are essentially bi-passing all of the small talk and silly get to know you questions and cutting right to the chase of knowing this person inside and out, “Hmm… we get along really well, this person knows a lot about me… so what does that mean?” This is the tricky part because it might cross lines that it shouldn’t, or even worse one person might start to catch feelings that the other person isn’t feeling. However you want to keep the same friendship and bond going. So just because you are close, it doesn’t mean that you have to date, it’s okay to just have a really great friendship!
So whatever your work friends are to you, we hope that you either have someone to roll your eyes with about Sue in Accounting, have someone to grab drinks with after work, or hey maybe you met your sigo….or someone who thought they should be your sigo but turned out it really wasn’t meant to be and you’re still the best of friends!
We are lifelong friends. Yup, that’s right, friends literally since birth [if you missed the story of us, check it out here]. Over the last nearly 3 decades, however, we have needed to make friends outside of each other since we went to different colleges, lived in different parts of the country, have had different jobs, etc. Through these experiences we’ve come to learn that sometimes a friendship is simply for the moment. Sometimes you make a friend because you need one, and this person serves a purpose in your life and you serve one in theirs.
This topic is a tough one because it’s going to sound harsh, however we really want to make it positive and inspiring. The point behind it is to remove any negativity from your life and to realize that the types of friends we are describing below don’t deserve to be your friend for one reason or another. If being friends with someone is “hard work” or “stressful” then why are you friends with them? Friendship should be easy, rewarding, supportive, and fun. It shouldn’t contain jealousy, bullying, or blame. Now again keeping in mind that friendship is a relationship so there will be points of conflict or disagreement, however in small doses and for valid reasons. If you do find yourself involved with a friend that we describe below, we think it is best for you to move on from that friendship. Let us know if you agree!
The funny thing about making friends later in life is that we didn’t think we’d be faced with doing so. We don’t know about you but we made our friends and then figured, “That’s it, no new friends!” But the thing is that we do have to keep evolving and meeting new people. We make new friends at work, at the gym, in mommy circles, online, in our communities, etc, etc.
So ironically enough, it’s a little harder to make friends now for the same reason as it is easier. 
Anyway, we’ve talked quite a bit about what it’s like to make a friend later in life as far as being in a situation where making a new friend is on the horizon. What we mean by that is that we’ve discussed what it’s like to make a new friend when the situation is in front of us. What we haven’t yet touched upon is how it can be challenging later in life to make a new friend when you need one because well, life is life. When we were younger there was school, teams, and clubs designed to help people make friends. Now, as adults of course clubs and teams do exist but don’t you feel like most often people go into those scenarios with their friends?! It takes courage to walk solo into a club or group and attempt to make friends versus walking in with a posse of people!
So, all of that being said, we want to hear from you! Do you find it challenging to make friends later in life? What do you find to be the biggest challenge? Have you successfully made new friends? What worked for you? Comment below and let us know whatever you think about this topic because we know there’s someone out there who feels the same….and is perhaps looking for a friend!
