When We Chose to Breakup Instead of Make Up

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If you’ve been in a relationship of any length you know that there comes a point where one or both of you have to make a choice: should we break up or stay together? In some cases an event might spark a breakup, the main examples being cheating, lying, or stealing but sometimes it is not that cut and dry, especially if you’ve invested time and love. No matter what the factors, at the end of the day whether you choose to break up or stay together the fact is that it is a choice. We reflected on relationships when we chose to break it off even though an event didn’t spark the decision. We chose to end the relationships for the betterment of ourselves and our then partners. While discussing this post we found that while the context was different, the names, the places, the factors, etc, the reasons were very similar and we’ll share below our experiences…

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Sass: The relationship that comes to mind is one that involves (*spoiler alert*) my first proposal. I was in college dating a guy who was a out of college and in the military. Very soon into our relationship he was stationed to another city which put a lot of pressure on us early on. We made trips to see each other when possible and I had the most emotional experiences each time I had to leave him. At the end of one weekend together in the airport parking lot, I was sobbing until he hits me with, “Baby, I love you. Will you marry me?” The crying stopped, better yet, it came to a screeching halt. “I love you very much but I can’t answer that right now,” I finally said. His face dropped and my heart broke.

From then on we were never the same, as you can imagine. He lashed out at me repeatedly over the next few weeks and we fought a lot. Looking back I believe he was just too hurt to know what to do so instead of talking it out, we fought it out. I can clearly remember the moment when I made the decision to breakup. By about the tenth or eleventh listen of Beyonce’s “If I Were A Boy”, I made the decision to strip my room clean of anything that reminded me of him and made the call.

I learned a lot from this relationship but the biggest take away for me was if you want to ask a grown up question then be grown up enough to handle any answer. I could have chosen to stick it out, fight through it, and make it work but I chose not to. I chose to recognize that ultimately this person was not right for me and that to continue to endure the negativity would be harmful to both of us. So in breaking if off with him, I broke both of our hearts but I can say that I knew even then it was the right decision.

Sweetness: Choosing to break up or stay together seems pretty black and white but I’m sure everyone can agree that it’s definitely a gray area, an area of uncertainty. I have been in a relationship where I was head over heels in love and the guy I was with … well idk if he entirely felt the same but his dreams were different than mine. Baseball was his dream and he joined the minor leagues after he graduated college and continued to chase that dream. I was still in school and though I should have been enjoying my final year, all I wanted was to be with him! The distance, time zone differences, and always being in a different place was always working against us. We could rarely figure out a time to see one another and if we did, one of us was traveling a far distance just to try and make it work.

Being so young, it was just not sustainable or realistic. We both needed to choose if we were going to make this work or not and being that we are no longer together, I think you can guess what we chose. It doesn’t mean it was easy and that there weren’t any tears or hurt feelings. It was just simply the situation that ultimately lead us to realize this was not something we could both continue pursuing.

So, as you can see our stories are different but share underlying themes and the biggest one being choice. We made choices in these relationships based on the circumstances, age, time and place, and future goals. In reading our stories we are a bit envious of our younger, more fearless selves. As hard as those choices were to make in the moment, looking back it seems so easy and clear. We are going to take our younger, more fearless selves into our next tough choice and know that in 10 more years from now we’ll see the choice as easy and clear!

Xo Sass and Sweetness

How Meeting “The One” Changes Your Life

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So we’ve gone through all the breakups, eaten all the pizza, kissed all the frogs, and finally found the one. Now what? Some of us will make the decision to marry this person and that’s what we’re here to talk about today….marriage and all that comes with it!

SoOo, hey there, Sass here! As of today I have been with my husband for 6 years and we are 21 months into marriage. That being said, if you are a gazillion years into marriage, or simply in it longer than we are, take everything below with a grain of salt as I am sure I will read this years from now and laugh at myself…

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When You Know, You Know
When you ask most people, “So how did you know he/she was the one?” We are often met by the same response, “Ah well, when you know, you know.” I definitely subscribe to gut feelings and I too experienced this sense of cosmic “knowing” about my husband. However, I could also analyze our relationship and know that we aligned. Relationships do not often fail because of differing religious viewpoints, differing wants on children, smoking, or any of the “big ticket items,” as I call them, because when people differ on these aspects of life most often the relationship never begins in the first place. In my experience, relationships fail because of differing viewpoints on lifestyle, money, and affection. When two people generally share the same hopes, dreams, and goals for how you want life to be things tend to work out. For example, it could be difficult for a relationship to thrive when one person loves to travel and the other couldn’t care less, when one person wants to be social all the time and the other is a constant homebody, when you have a morning versus a night person, a clean versus messy person, someone who craves physically affection and a partner who isn’t into it, or when you have differing opinions on how to spend money. I truly believe that the “smaller ticket items” build up over time and eventually someone (or both people) explode.

That being said, my husband is messy and I am neat, he is very social and I am more of a homebody BUT I think what people mean by “when you know, you know,” is that you experience these differences in every relationship but you know it’s “the one” because this person makes compromises for you. And equally important, you see that you are willing and happy to compromise for him/her.

My husband and I also share the same values and are on the same page about our big life picture. We both appreciate and love to travel, we both want family to be a big part of our lives, and we both understand that while we like nice things, buying our first home is the priority and limit our spending accordingly. We are not going to get in arguments about credit card charges, public versus private school for our daughter, or seeing family on holidays, as examples.

So, yes, I knew I was in love with him, physically attracted to him, and enjoyed my time with him but when it came to deciding whether or not to marry him, I knew that the vision of what I wanted my life to look like very closely aligned to his vision of his life. This was a big indication to me that we could make this darn thing work for the long haul.

The Big Day
My husband and I have huge families and lots of friends so the decision to do a destination wedding came pretty easily to us. We needed a way to simplify our big day and keep it “small” without insulting a large part of our extended circles. In a perfect world would we have had everyone there, of course, but we simply couldn’t afford it. And I’ll be very honest with you, growing up in New Jersey and having attended some of the most beautiful and extravagant weddings I knew that even if we took the 80 people that we had in Mexico to a venue in NJ, we would not have afforded the type of wedding that I pictured in my head in my teens and early 20s. I needed to make our wedding so different from the $100,000-500,000 weddings that I’d seen in my younger years in order to not feel like my wedding wasn’t as nice or as glam or as beautiful.

So, we took our wedding to Mexico and let the beach be our backdrop and the party and vacation with our friends and family take the place of the over the top centerpieces, the big band, and the king crab leg cocktail hour. It’s not that I didn’t want these things, and I am not mocking those that have this type of wedding, I just knew we wouldn’t have been able to do it to the level that I would have wanted so we made it completely different. Ultimately the entire party was dancing before the salads were served and we had an incredible time. So 21 months later, I’m not bothered by the simple white flower centerpieces and I can’t remember what I ate so there’s that. It’s true what they say though, it is a blur so try to enjoy it in the moment as much as possible!

Love and Marriage
I’m finding it difficult to adequately put into words the wonderful aspects of marriage other than to say that I know I have a partner for life. This is such a secure, wonderful feeling but rather than type out a bunch of lovey dovey stuff about my marriage and my love for my husband I’m going to let two songs do the talking:

“Home” by Phillip Phillips (our wedding song):
Hold on, to me as we go, as we roll down this unfamiliar road. And although this wave is stringing us along, just know you’re not alone, ’cause I’m going to make this place your home.

“Feel the Tide” by Mumford and Sons (one of “our songs”):
It’s you and I now, we can be alright, just hold onto what we know is true. You and I now, though it’s cold inside, feel the tide turning…

I think you get the picture: we’re in this together, I love him more than I can describe, and we always have each other’s backs. Done and done.

The Challenges
Welp, there isn’t enough time or space to go through the challenges of marriage but I’ll share some of the most relevant ones to me right now. My husband feels loved through food and while it seems like an easy enough thing to make happen, sometimes getting dinner on the table feels like running a marathon. While on my own I could eat hummus for dinner, in order to keep my marriage happy and healthy, I generally need to get dinner on the table even when it means sacrificing other errands, chores, or a workout class for me. It’s just one of those things, ya know?

Secondly, having a baby has presented all sorts of new challenges and I think the biggest one is that as a first time mom, I have experienced so many changes in the last 18 months (including pregnancy and now my daughter is 9 months), that my husband literally cannot relate to. He can be and is supportive of me but there’s no biological way for him to truly understand how I feel mentally, emotionally, and physically and that.is.hard. He is my go-to guy for everything and in this instance, we have had to accept that there are aspects of my life now that I sometimes need to turn to someone other than him to work through, which has been an adjustment.

I can continue with specifics but overall, it comes down to making choices, decisions, and compromises for another person even when you don’t want to. It is more challenging than I first realized to balance standing my ground with knowing that at the end of the day being right takes down the other person, the person I love most in the world. Years ago my husband and I were arguing about something, I can’t remember what, and my mom said to me, “Christie, I know. I get it. But in being right and ‘winning’ this argument means that he, your person, loses. And as much as you believe and know you’re right, is it worth him losing?” That is something I try to keep in mind when we have disagreements because disagreements are always going to be there but it’s how we work through them that make or break us. We are not perfect but I have one of those marriages where even when we argue I always know that “we’re fine.” If you have this, you know what I mean. Having the “we’re always fine” thing is our confidence in our foundation and I’m just not sure what I’d do without it.

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Change
So, we think it’s pretty obvious how your life changes when you get married. You go from doing what you want, when you want, to making decisions together, spending money together, bringing babies into the world together. Everything is suddenly about the togetherness! But not only does your life change when you get married but your marriage changes as your life changes. So.much.change. Sass is going through this now with her husband and learning how the marriage changes with having a kid. She is also learning what it means to have “married couple friends,” and how to balance the wild and crazy single nights out with Sweetness! But when it comes down to it, all of the change and all of the challenges are worth it for the marriage, for your friends, for your family, and for us as individuals!

So tell us what marriage means to you! What’s the secret sauce to making your marriage work? What is most challenging for you right now? Or what are you most looking forward to in marriage? Are you choosing not to get married? We want to hear from you! Leave a comment here or on our Instagram!

Xo Sass and Sweetness

 

How Relationship Changes Affect your Life

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Processed with VSCO with c3 presetEnding and starting new relationships comes with a large amount of changes. Whether they are positive or negative changes, it’s crazy how others impact your life in so many ways. We have both experienced a lot of changes recently, especially in our romantic relationships and friendships. Some of the changes have been very good, others not so much. We are sharing how we are adapting and to let you know you are not alone!

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Sass:

Hola, Sass here! Change has become my middle name these past few years. After going to college in Washington, DC I decided to stay there for “a little while” until I could figure out what I wanted to do with my life. In that time, I met my now husband and “a little while” turned into 5 more years. After we got engaged in 2015, a short while later we relocated to Boston, MA. The year we spent in Boston was one of our best years yet! We didn’t know many people and had no family around so we spent a lot of quality time together. In the months leading up to our wedding, it was wonderful to have this alone time together and to learn that even when it’s just the two of us around we are very happy!

We got married in January 2017 and by April I was pregnant! Wah! So, we were then faced with a decision: do we stay in Boston where we’ve been very happy and jobs are great or do we move closer to family in time for the baby to arrive? Welp, you guessed it, we moved to NJ a year ago September to prepare for the baby. In moving to NJ, since we did it rather quickly, we moved in with my parents. It was enough being pregnant and moving, let alone pregnant, moving, and settling into a new house of our own so we decided to wait a bit. And then finally by January our baby girl was born and she is now 9 months.

So, just a couple of C-H-A-N-G-E-S recently, huh? In the last 3 years I have gone from single to engaged, from living in Washington, DC, Boston, MA, and now New Jersey. Engaged to married. Married and living in the perfect apartment in a little bubble with my husband to living with my parents and from a carefree 20-something to a nearly 30 year old with a baby! Oh and I almost forgot to mention that I went from a corporate job that I held for 5 years to now working from home. This is certainly the glossed over version but the dirty details of all of these changes are coming in the following posts this month. I’ll be sharing how all of these changes make me feel, how they affect my friendships and other relationships, and so much more.

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Sweetness:

Hey everyone, it’s Sweetness! One of the biggest changes I went through a little over a year ago was when my relationship with my fiance ended. It was (and sometimes still is) one of the hardest times in my life. I was so used to basically being his wife, living and sleeping with him, even working together with him. We had been together for 5 years and had been through sooo much together that it was tough to just wake up and not have this person in my life anymore.

He was my best friend, the person I turned to, the person that made me laugh. However, we had experienced a lot of trauma through our relationship and I had moved across the country to California to be with him. Being in a new state, with no friends or family of my own was very tough and because we didn’t always get along, it made everything so much more difficult. I was torn between wanting to make our relationship work, however also missed my family and friends back in New Jersey.

When I moved back to NJ, I was experiencing all of my own changes, however my friends were also going through changes, like marriage and babies! I was adapting to my new life, new job, and experiencing a different dynamic between me and my friends. They weren’t as “available” anymore and I often felt alone, like I was the only person going through this. These changes greatly impacted me emotionally and physically and I often felt it was tough to get by.

Now things have started to fall into place, but I would be lying if I said I don’t question if the decision I made was the right one. It’s funny how a negative change can also have a positive outcome. Have I fully seen the positive outcome yet? I don’t think so, however I have felt more like myself again and still hold on to the hope that things will turn out to be okay! As our “changes” blog posts continue, I will continue to share how I have been affected in a negative and positive way and hope that someone else out there that may be going through something similar doesn’t feel alone and can relate!

Friends, stay tuned this month! We’ll be sharing the details of the many changes we have both experienced over the last several years and what these changes mean for our futures! Make sure to let us know what you’re going through; it’s always nice to know there are women out there going through the same things!

Xo Sass and Sweetness

How Friendships are Impacted by Life’s Events aka LIFE!

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As life takes us on differents paths, it’s a crazy balancing act to try and stay in touch with your friends. People grow older, move to different states, get married, and have children and suddenly the timeline everyone was once on is no longer in sync. It’s funny because as kids you often think you will get married and have babies at the same time as your friends and then your babies will be best friends. However, that’s not always how life goes and not what we have experienced.

We both were in long term relationships at the same time and were able to have that in common. The trouble was that we were living in completely different parts of the country, California and Washington DC. It was tough to keep up with one another’s schedule and not to mention the 3 hour time difference! Sass would try and call Sweetness on her drive home from work, however it was the middle of the day for Sweetness. And talk about trying to get together! We always had to coordinate when we would be back in NJ at the same time or we would only see each other during the holidays or for some event.

So this is where the story and paths got different. Sass ended up getting engaged and married. Sweetness got engaged, but unfortunately that relationship ended and she is now single. Sass also recently had a baby, which has added another “difference” to the equation. So now we have one married with a baby friend and 1 single friend trying to maintain their relationship with each other and figure out this new way of life. So how do we handle being on two different ends of the spectrum? We’ve shared our own personal views below.

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Hey everyone, Sweetness here! So as you read above, I am currently single after being in a long term relationship. I’ve experienced moving across the country, changing jobs, being a bridesmaid several times over, and dealing with this new single life of mine all while my friends have continued on with married life. Do I feel lonely at times? Yes… actually more than usual. The reason though is not because I am single. It is not because I don’t have someone that I am dating – it is honestly because my friends now have their own significant others and I feel like I can’t go to them like I used to. But wait – it’s not because they’ve done anything to make me feel that way. It’s honestly a subconscious feeling that I get in my own head about (because trust me I know Sass would love to go out any chance she gets!)

To further explain, I think it is because we are all in different stages of life so it’s hard to figure out who is feeling what. I don’t want to be a burden on them or to make them feel “bad” for me. There are times where I might get upset because of my situation and although I know I can call them, I don’t always want to because I know they have their own responsibilities to deal with. From this, I feel our relationship has gotten closer but also further. We are getting further away from having commonalities, however we are getting closer because we are more mature and can have very candid conversations.

Trust me, I am happy for my friends and again trust me I want to get married and have like 10,000 babies, but for now, this is the stage we are all in. I’m sure once I do get married and have babies then our relationship will take an even different turn! We will be asking for one another’s advice about diaper rash and complaining about how our husband’s never pick up their socks. But for now, it’s trying to balance our friendship in these two completely different stages and schedules.

Sass:

Hi friends! So as you know, if you’ve been keeping up with our posts, I am the first of our core group of friends to have baby. In fact, I was also the first to get engaged and married. And I know what you might be thinking, “Wowwww, Sass, your life is SO hard. Is your wallet too small for your fifties and are your diamond shoes too tight??” [Friends reference, duh] but it has not always been a smooth sailing road. Because I am the first to take these steps, I am sometimes left out of the single and/or baby-less lifestyle I used to lead with my friends. When my friends decide on a whim to have a girl’s night out, not only do I need a babysitter but it means leaving my husband at home. Or how about when I was pregnant, the last thing I wanted to do was pop bottles at Wicked Wolf (a sports bar in Hoboken, NJ) on Sunday to watch football but it meant being “left out” of the day. Now, to make it very clear, I was not purposefully being “left out” but the FOMO was the same!

It’s tough because I never want to complain about having a husband and a baby because in the grand scheme these are obviously people and decisions about life that mean everything to me, but as Sweetness said, for most of our lives up to this point, we’ve been in the same stage on the same timeline. Now we are all over the place and have aspects of our lives that we can’t understand fully about each other. I believe this is where some friendships fall off but when you have true, meaningful, OG friends like ours we push through. We have open and honest conversations that may still not make it so that we can fully relate but we can do our best and be there for each other all the same.

Xo Sass and Sweetness

Making Friends at (nearly) 30 Years Old

winery3The funny thing about making friends later in life is that we didn’t think we’d be faced with doing so. We don’t know about you but we made our friends and then figured, “That’s it, no new friends!” But the thing is that we do have to keep evolving and meeting new people. We make new friends at work, at the gym, in mommy circles, online, in our communities, etc, etc.

Making friends at (almost) 30 is easier in some ways, and harder in others, than it was when we were in middle school, high school, or college. It’s easier because we are more secure in who we are. Our lives won’t be over if someone doesn’t like us, which is how you might feel when you’re younger. We have a little less #FOMO and a little more, we gon do what we want, thanks. We think that self-security and confidence is what attracts people to you. It’s cliche but it’s true, you just have to be yourself. Anyone who has survived middle school, high school, and college can sniff out a phony in an instant. A phony doesn’t make friends well past a certain age because who has time nowadays for any of that?!

winery1So ironically enough, it’s a little harder to make friends now for the same reason as it is easier. Ladies, what the heck are you talking about? Well in our younger years, the easiest way to make friends was to conform. You find out what the group likes, doesn’t like, and you adapt and say that you feel the same way. Conforming gives you instant friends, not best friends or meaningful friends, but hey, you’ve got em! In this case, we’re a little too old for that. Not only do we not have the time to be anything but ourselves but we are too mature and less willing to settle for anything but a meaningful relationship.

We also believe that in our specific case, we definitely are less likely to conform for any new friendship because we know we have our solid ya-ya friendships in our back pocket. Any new friend is a bonus to what we already have with our core group of women. The women that we’ve been friends with for 10, 15, 20, or like us 30 years now.

winery2Anyway, we’ve talked quite a bit about what it’s like to make a friend later in life as far as being in a situation where making a new friend is on the horizon. What we mean by that is that we’ve discussed what it’s like to make a new friend when the situation is in front of us. What we haven’t yet touched upon is how it can be challenging later in life to make a new friend when you need one because well, life is life. When we were younger there was school, teams, and clubs designed to help people make friends. Now, as adults of course clubs and teams do exist but don’t you feel like most often people go into those scenarios with their friends?! It takes courage to walk solo into a club or group and attempt to make friends versus walking in with a posse of people!

winery4So, all of that being said, we want to hear from you! Do you find it challenging to make friends later in life? What do you find to be the biggest challenge? Have you successfully made new friends? What worked for you? Comment below and let us know whatever you think about this topic because we know there’s someone out there who feels the same….and is perhaps looking for a friend!

Xo Sass & Sweetness

5 Friends You Need in Your Life

So we’ve talked about the types of friends that there are but …we are getting even more specific and talking about the 5 types of friends you NEED in your life and why. Each type brings something to the table and if you don’t already have a friend like this in your life then post an ad, get on Bumble for Friends, and find one asap!

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1.The BLUNT Friend

You know, the friend that will go straight up to the guy that’s hitting on you and tell him to buzz off because she already knows you’re not interested. Also the one that’s not afraid to tell you that you are wayyyy better than the guy that only responds to your every other text and calls only at 2am to “hang out”. Or the one that says, nope do.not.go.in.public.in.that.dress.

Trust us, she means it in the best way possible. This friend is not afraid to tell you (or others) how it is. She is a protector and a truth teller. She also gives you a nice little kick in the rear and brings you back to reality when you are not thinking so clearly. You might even be this type of friend to your friends and guess what? They are lucky to have you so keep being that blunt badass that you are! (and duh! Sass happens to be this friend!)

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2. The Supportive Friend

This friend is always there to listen. So are your other friends, but this friend really truly gets it. She sits and listens to what’s bothering you and empathizes with your struggles and pain. The key word here is empathize. She actually feels what you feel, whether it’s because she went through something similar or she can at least relate in the most meaningful way possible. This is someone you can call at anytime and at the drop of a hat they will be there.

Most importantly, she supports your decisions even if she doesn’t fully agree. She will be by your side to pick you back up if you fall or help celebrate your happiness. Let’s just say the name Samantha (aka Sweetness) doesn’t mean good listener for nothing! 😉

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  1. The Adventurous Friend

It’s so easy to get stuck in our ways and do the same thing so this friend is necessary to shake things up! She suggests ideas that mightttt be intimidating at first but after you do it, you realize that was a good f*ing time! She might be spontaneous and have last minute ideas or she’s the one planning your next year of trips, concerts, and excursions. At times you’ll hate her and all of the ideas she’ll throw at you. You’ll be exhausted and will feel lazy but if you don’t go, trust us you’ll have FOMO.

You need this friend to help you create memories beyond what’s happening in your own backyard. She’ll help you check off your bucket list items and teach you a thing or two at the same time. So the next time she asks you to go backpacking in Antarctica, we suggest you should go!

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  1. The Healthy Friend

At times you might think this friend is psycho or even extreme but deep down you know it’s all in good health. You also slightlyyy wish you had her same ability to resist eating a piece of bread or run 5 miles without breaking a sweat. Most of us try our best to be healthy and workout, however this friend takes it to a new level! Whether she goes to the gym everyday, runs in races, or is even vegan, you need a friend like this in your life. She will keep you on track and inspire you to live a healthier lifestyle!

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  1. The Funny Friend

This friend constantly sends you funny memes and always has the perfect sarcastic response to pretty much anything. She makes an awkward situation not awkward and makes you pee your pants with her humor. Having a bad day? Call this friend up and I’m sure she will be able to come up with something that turns your frown upside down.

When you are out, you can always count on her to be the life of the party! She’s goofy, keeps things interesting, and sometimes makes you want to hide behind your hands with her outbursts! Some of the best memories and inside jokes come from this type of friend, however we often find that we can all be the funny friend at times!

Do you already have these friends in your life? We would love to hear what you think!

 

Xo Sass and Sweetness 

 

 

The Different Types of Friends

We are so glad that you are getting to know our friendship. We shared with you our backstory and how our friendship has evolved over the last (nearly) 30 years. We have the type of friendship that at times we would classify as inseparable, at others more of a “cousin” relationship, and one that right now is somewhere in between. We have our own lives but have come together on this blog journey in a way that is different from any other point in our lives. While we could talk about our friendship all day, we want to make sure we talk about the other types of friendships that are out there. Throughout this month we are going to deep dive into many but here’s an overview that we think you will all be able to relate to!

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The Historical Friendship: We have friends today that remain our friends because of a shared history. The bond you create with someone growing up, going through the trials and tribulations is one of the strongest bonds you can create. This friendship is based on the “remember whens” and the “I couldn’t believe we did thats!” If you met this friend today you might even say, “Nah, no thanks, not my type of person” but since the bond was already created it’s not going anywhere!

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The High and Low-Maintenance Friendship: When we say that someone is a high-maintenance friend, what we mean is that this friendship requires a ton of TLC; constant check-ins, long conversations, regular meetups, etc. And while that may sound like any other friendship, the difference is that this friendship wouldn’t survive without it! Some friendships can always pick up where they left off, or go long periods of time without talking and be fine aka the low-maintenance friendships but high-maintenance friendships require constant care. On the flip side, we have some friendships that we would say are almost too low maintenance for their own good! Because we know the friendship is always solid no matter what we are not as prompted to seek it out and often find ourselves missing these friendships!

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The Where We Are Now Friendship: We make friends in various stages of life. When we’re single it’s nice to have other single friends to go out with it and share the dating experiences with. When we get married, it’s nice to have married friends, and when we have a baby, it’s necessary to have mama friends. There are many examples of the “where we are now friendships” but to put it simply, we seek friendships that we can relate to. We want to know that someone else is experiencing something similar and there is great power and comfort in knowing that you are experiencing that something similar at the exact same time. It’s why women who have kids the same age form incredible bonds and why you might become friends with someone who has a significant other in the same or similar profession as yours! (i.e. the spouse of anyone in law enforcement or medicine). And for that matter, why you might befriend others in YOUR same industry, especially those industries that are high-stress or have differing schedules. Bottom line is that we want friendships and people in our lives that make what we’re going through feel normal!

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The Need Something Friendship: At first glance this might seem like a negative friendship but it’s really not! What we mean by this type of friendship is that this friend knows you so well and always has your back so you know when you go to her that she is going to give you exactly what you need at the moment. Sometimes you might need support, other times you might need a kick in the ass, or maybe you just need a good laugh. Whatever you need, he or she knows what it is and is happy to oblige. Just remember to return the favor!

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The Let’s Get Wasted Friendship: As we get older this friend may become less necessary or more necessary depending on how you look at it! Since it seems that we are unable to live life like our previous 22-year old rockstar selves, we are theoretically “partying” much less and therefore the friendship that is based on this behavior may not last or be as necessary. But on the other hand, since life is 10x more stressful than it was at 22, when you just got to go get drunk you NEED this friendship. We may call upon it less often but when we need it, we really need it!

And last but certainly not least, The Social Media Friendship: We all have those “friendships” that are only maintained because of social media. If not for the ability to “like,” “share,” or comment on his or her photo of her cat or new car we probably wouldn’t know much about this person any longer. It’s a blessing and a curse if you ask us! But also through this blog we are learning that it is possible to have strictly “Internet Friendships” that are completely normal, happy, and healthy in a completely anti-Catfish way. We love creating bonds with friends all over the country (and the world for that matter) through social media. DM us, email us, comment at us because we want to be friends with you too!

So, yes, there are a gazillion types of friendships out there and we only touched on a few. But the true beauty of friendship is that for the people in it it works!

Xo Sass and Sweetness