We are lifelong friends. Yup, that’s right, friends literally since birth [if you missed the story of us, check it out here]. Over the last nearly 3 decades, however, we have needed to make friends outside of each other since we went to different colleges, lived in different parts of the country, have had different jobs, etc. Through these experiences we’ve come to learn that sometimes a friendship is simply for the moment. Sometimes you make a friend because you need one, and this person serves a purpose in your life and you serve one in theirs.
Saying that someone serves a purpose in your life sounds a bit harsh but really it’s the simplest way of saying that this person comes into your life for the right reason at the right time, even if he or she wasn’t meant to be a your new best friend forever. It’s honestly kind of crazy how this happens when you really think back and reflect on why this person came into your life. It’s just like any relationship, however since we have experienced this more than once, we’ve realized that things really do happen for a reason.
Hey everyone, Sweetness here! I wanted to give my perspective on “there for the moment” friends. There was a time when I was newly single and all of my friends were in relationships. I really “needed” someone to be my single counterpart to go out with and experience this new single life with. This friend came into my life and the relationship was just simply that – we would go out, meet new people, talk about all the troubles of being single together and really use each other for that daily support. One day, this friend got into a romantic relationship and our friendship ended up fading out. Disappointed at first, I came to realize that it wasn’t meant to be a “lifelong” friendship. Our personalities and life values were different, however it was exactly what I needed for that specific moment in time. I needed someone to help get me used to single life again and for me to be able to lean on someone that was going through the same thing. Now that more time has passed, I am feeling much better about my situation and happy that this friendship has moved on!
And as for me, Sass, well I was the first to have a baby in our core group of ladies so I needed someone I could lean on that would truly understand what I was going through. I realized right away how quickly people forget what it’s like to have a newborn, even those who have children! The newborn phase is the longest shortest period (so far anyway) but it is also pretty grueling. Anyway, the point is that I connected with a woman who was previously a mere acquaintance but who had had a baby only a few days before I did. For awhile there it seemed like she was the only person who really felt my pain, my struggles, and my successes as a new mom. It also helped that she was the only person in my world who was awake feeding a crying baby every 2 hours throughout the night….we did our best chatting between 2 and 6am! In the last few months we’ve since gotten the hang of this mommin’ thing and chat less often but I know that I can go to her when I need to vent, to see if something happening to me or the babe is “normal,” and for general mom advice. So, for the moment, she was my lifeline and late-night feeding bestie and while we may not be lifelong, see you every weekend, chat all the time friends, for the moment we were there for each other.
We believe that a “for the moment” bestie, just like any other relationship, can come and go as needed which makes this friendship ultimately a positive one! It can sound negative that a friendship would only be temporary or meaningful to simply serve a purpose but the commonality in both of our examples is that we each needed something that the counterpart in our examples seemed to need too! And who knows, maybe we will need a Saturday night wing woman or a 3am feeding bestie again in the future and these friendships come back around. Or more realistically, maybe Sweetness and her for the moment friend reconnect when they are both in the same place in life or Sass and her for the moment friend have their 2nd baby at the same time and these friendships become deeper once again. The point is that for the moment these friendships were everything and they will either be friendships that come back around or perhaps they were simply there for that one moment in time to help us get by. Because after all, we get by with a little help from our friends.
Xo Sass and Sweetness