Being Weird with Your Friends

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IMG_1198Does this post describe us or does it describe us!?! If we had to pick one trait that describes our friendship, we think we would both choose weird haha! We have been friends since birth (literally though – you can read more about it here) so that allows for us to completely be ourselves with one another. We can be having a perfectly normal conversation and then it somehow breaks out into a song about the topic we are discussing. We can talk in our “British” accents to each other like it is completely normal and suddenly speaking in our normal voices to one another is… not normal lol. We think that being weird with your friends is rad and it allows you to be the best version of yourself!

So being weird with friends means you are literally being yourself with no judgement… like at all. You can do the strangest things and make each other laugh so hard that if you actually pee your pants. And if you do pee your pants, your friend would laugh even harder. You should be able to do and say whatever comes to mind even if it’s ridiculous, I’m sure you friends will find it hilariously funny! Being weird is where inside jokes and great memories come from.

In addition to the weirdness, you should also be able to look like a movie star or look like complete crap and your friends won’t care. They will accept you with no makeup, circles under your eyes, and greasy hair. They won’t get jealous either if you are all glammed up and look like a complete bombshell. They just accept you for you, weirdness and all.

We are weird, we hope that you are weird and maybe one day, we can all be weird friends together! What are some weird things you do with your friends? We would love to hear your funny stories and we hope you enjoyed our weirdest photos!!

Xo Sass and Sweetness

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How Friendships are Impacted by Life’s Events aka LIFE!

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As life takes us on differents paths, it’s a crazy balancing act to try and stay in touch with your friends. People grow older, move to different states, get married, and have children and suddenly the timeline everyone was once on is no longer in sync. It’s funny because as kids you often think you will get married and have babies at the same time as your friends and then your babies will be best friends. However, that’s not always how life goes and not what we have experienced.

We both were in long term relationships at the same time and were able to have that in common. The trouble was that we were living in completely different parts of the country, California and Washington DC. It was tough to keep up with one another’s schedule and not to mention the 3 hour time difference! Sass would try and call Sweetness on her drive home from work, however it was the middle of the day for Sweetness. And talk about trying to get together! We always had to coordinate when we would be back in NJ at the same time or we would only see each other during the holidays or for some event.

So this is where the story and paths got different. Sass ended up getting engaged and married. Sweetness got engaged, but unfortunately that relationship ended and she is now single. Sass also recently had a baby, which has added another “difference” to the equation. So now we have one married with a baby friend and 1 single friend trying to maintain their relationship with each other and figure out this new way of life. So how do we handle being on two different ends of the spectrum? We’ve shared our own personal views below.

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Hey everyone, Sweetness here! So as you read above, I am currently single after being in a long term relationship. I’ve experienced moving across the country, changing jobs, being a bridesmaid several times over, and dealing with this new single life of mine all while my friends have continued on with married life. Do I feel lonely at times? Yes… actually more than usual. The reason though is not because I am single. It is not because I don’t have someone that I am dating – it is honestly because my friends now have their own significant others and I feel like I can’t go to them like I used to. But wait – it’s not because they’ve done anything to make me feel that way. It’s honestly a subconscious feeling that I get in my own head about (because trust me I know Sass would love to go out any chance she gets!)

To further explain, I think it is because we are all in different stages of life so it’s hard to figure out who is feeling what. I don’t want to be a burden on them or to make them feel “bad” for me. There are times where I might get upset because of my situation and although I know I can call them, I don’t always want to because I know they have their own responsibilities to deal with. From this, I feel our relationship has gotten closer but also further. We are getting further away from having commonalities, however we are getting closer because we are more mature and can have very candid conversations.

Trust me, I am happy for my friends and again trust me I want to get married and have like 10,000 babies, but for now, this is the stage we are all in. I’m sure once I do get married and have babies then our relationship will take an even different turn! We will be asking for one another’s advice about diaper rash and complaining about how our husband’s never pick up their socks. But for now, it’s trying to balance our friendship in these two completely different stages and schedules.

Sass:

Hi friends! So as you know, if you’ve been keeping up with our posts, I am the first of our core group of friends to have baby. In fact, I was also the first to get engaged and married. And I know what you might be thinking, “Wowwww, Sass, your life is SO hard. Is your wallet too small for your fifties and are your diamond shoes too tight??” [Friends reference, duh] but it has not always been a smooth sailing road. Because I am the first to take these steps, I am sometimes left out of the single and/or baby-less lifestyle I used to lead with my friends. When my friends decide on a whim to have a girl’s night out, not only do I need a babysitter but it means leaving my husband at home. Or how about when I was pregnant, the last thing I wanted to do was pop bottles at Wicked Wolf (a sports bar in Hoboken, NJ) on Sunday to watch football but it meant being “left out” of the day. Now, to make it very clear, I was not purposefully being “left out” but the FOMO was the same!

It’s tough because I never want to complain about having a husband and a baby because in the grand scheme these are obviously people and decisions about life that mean everything to me, but as Sweetness said, for most of our lives up to this point, we’ve been in the same stage on the same timeline. Now we are all over the place and have aspects of our lives that we can’t understand fully about each other. I believe this is where some friendships fall off but when you have true, meaningful, OG friends like ours we push through. We have open and honest conversations that may still not make it so that we can fully relate but we can do our best and be there for each other all the same.

Xo Sass and Sweetness

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Our Favorite Razor

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Processed with VSCO with c3 presetOkay so the backstory first for this post before we get all “I’m your venus, I’m your fire, your desire” on you. So Sweetness posted a pic on our IG story a few weeks ago taking an outdoor shower (nooo not a naked pic) but it was basically a pic of shampoo, a cute towel, and her razor. And that razor just so happened to be a Venus razor. So Sass replies to the story saying OMG we have the same razor, yada yada. And then we go back and forth for about 15 minutes about how great this damn razor is!

We know what you are thinking, every woman and their mom has a Venus razor so not really a coincidence. This is true butttt it was the exact same Venus razor, the pink Venus ComfortGlide White Tea Razor. And not only that, but we were literally chatting back and forth through IG about how great it is without even realizing that we were giving this razor so much friggin props. But what we’ve come to determine is that you need this razor and here’s why…

It glides. Like for real though. Venus has always had great razor blades but this one actually glides on your skin for a reallllllly close shave. It has moisture bars on the side that helps it move right along but this makes shaving so much easier and faster, you don’t even have to think! Well, we don’t recommend shaving without thinking, that could lead to injury.

Talking about gliding, you don’t even need soap! Literally just using water activates the moisture strips and it acts as a built in soap. It doesn’t suds up or anything but the moisture layer between the razor and your skin makes it silky silky smooth. Gone are the days of feeling like you have a razor blade scraping off layers of your skin and shaving in the sink just became much easier!

Probably our last favorite part is the flexibility of the razor head. Most Venus razors do this but this razor head bends and curves to your body in two different ways, which especially helps when getting into those hard to reach areas like our armpits and bikini line.

So there ya have it! We have much love for this razor and since we are besties, we just so happen to have the same exact one… because being besties would be the reason for that, right?!

What is your favorite razor? Tell us below!

Xo Sass and Sweetness

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5 Reasons Why You Should Travel with Friends

Traveling with friends seems like a no brainer. It’s a chance to get away and just have a good time with your closest peeps! We feel pretty lucky to have had the opportunity to travel with our friends to a variety of different places. We’ve been around the US and even out of the country and have learned A LOT about each other during our travels. For the most part we have always had positive experiences and have grown a lot closer to each other. We feel that to maintain a great relationship with your friends and to create even greater memories, you should definitely travel with them and here’s why!

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  1. You’ll have the ultimate bonding experience

Like duhhh but it’s true. There’s nothing like bonding with your friends when you are forced to be with them 24/7. You are doing the same activities, eating meals, and feeling exhausted and grumpy together, as well as showering, changing, and going to the bathroom all in the same tiny hotel room. And since you are sleeping the same room, you will most likely end up laying in bed and talking for a million hours before you actually go to sleep. We’ve had some of the most meaningful and deep conversations this way and are so grateful for these types of experiences!

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  1. You will learn each other’s routines

As stated before you are with these people pretty much the whole vacation. It allows for you to get a good understanding of their morning and evening routines and even understand some of their personal habits. You will see them at their worst (no makeup, dirty hair, maybe hung over) but also at their very best (in awe of a sight or glammed up ready to go out)! You might even get some inspo from your friends based on their own routine and products that they use. For example – traveling with Sass quickly taught all of us that she is definitely not a morning person and we all learned that Sweetness has this crazy night time routine that requires removing her makeup no matter the time or intoxication level.

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  1. You’ll get comfortable… real fast

So there’s a lot of things that happen on the regular that as friends we don’t see all the time. However, when we are traveling, some things just can’t be avoided. Like pooping. Yes, girls poop and when they are all staying together over a long period of time, you end up having to poop in the same bathroom. You can either be discreet and try to hide it (minus the smell) or you just announce you are pooping and understand that at some point, everyone else will too. Also changing in front of each other brings a whole other comfort level like never before. Whether you are able to strip down in front of everyone or you go into the bathroom to get changed, there’s going to be some point in the trip where you are getting somewhat naked in front of your friends.

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  1. You might have a scuffle!

If you are like us and have never really fought with your friends before, be prepared because when you travel together, things can take a different turn. Not saying that you will get in a full blown argument, however you will realize that everyone will have different opinions on what they want to do and how much money they want to spend. We recommend figuring this out before you actually go away so everyone can be on the same page, however be prepared that there could be a small disagreement. There will be times when you have to make some sacrifices, but your friend might make them for you as well so it’s important to understand that!

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  1. You’ll learn how to share again!

Now as adults we rarely have to share our belongings with other people like we did when we were in high school and college. When you travel though, we can guarantee you one of your friends will ask to use something of yours! Whether it’s using your hairspray or borrowing an entire outfit, be prepared to share! Sharing is caring 😉 Butttt what if you don’t want to share the item your friend is asking about? Well that leaves you in a tough spot, however if you will be with your friend during their borrowing time, at least you can keep an eye on your item!

Have you traveled with your friends? Share where you went and a highlight from your trip below!

Xo Sass and Sweetness 

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Work Friends: Did We Just Become Best Friends?!

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How could we forget about work friends?! They are the ones that get you through the 9-5, the ones that you can roll your eyes at when your boss pisses you off, and the only ones that truly understand how freakin’ annoying Sue is over in Accounting (sorry Sue). We believe that work friends come in all different varieties and no matter how you look at it, they are definitely needed!

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Creating A Bond

Work is a huge part of our lives and whether you love or hate what you do, if you’re human, you have moments when you just have to vent about a client, a project, or co-worker (cough Sue cough). In our experience, there is nothing quite like the bond of people at work that have a shared negative experience, a shared pet peeve, or a common enemy. This may not be our proudest or most positive revelation but it’s certainly an honest one. You might at first tip toe around each other, sending out feelers for how that person feels and as soon as the discovery is made that you’re on the same page….LOOK OUT! The floodgates are open! Any opportunity you have to commiserate over the issue, the project, or mostly like the person, you take it and while it kinda feels bad, doesn’t it also feel really good?! This person becomes irreplaceable because unlike venting to your sigo or friend, you don’t have to explain the who, what, and where’s of the story before getting to the annoying part:

You: So, we have this deadline every Monday for these reports that are tedious but not that hard…
Your Sigo/Friend: What are the reports about?
You: [Explaining this couldn’t be more irrelevant to the story but ok…] Well, they are a collection of our numbers from last week and a projection of our numbers for the coming week and…
Your Sigo/Friend: Oh nice and who do you send them to?
You: [Mentally eye-rolling] PEOPLE! What’s important is that so-and-so and I came in super early to complete them, we did them perfectly and then Sue from accounting looked at them, who according to her job title should be much better at these reports than we are, changed a bunch of stuff and then had us send them in with wrong info. Then the higher-ups responded back with a nasty email about why they were wrong and Sue let us take the fall.”
Your Sigo/Friend: Why should Sue be better at the reports than you are?
You: [Takes bottle of wine to the face] THAT IS SO NOT THE POINT!

Meanwhile with your work bestie, literally all you have to do is look at each other and he or she knows all of that and more about the situation, how it makes you feel, and why. This is a person that you simply can’t live without…..and definitely a person you need to drink with, do yoga with, and basically do anything to relieve yourselves of this stress!

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All of that rant being said, creating a bond doesn’t always have to be a bond against the worst boss ever, against Sue, or against the 40 deadlines you have, it can also be formed out of respect. Respect at work is major because you want to know that the people around you are working as hard as you are, right? Have you ever worked on a team that either in your mind, or said out loud, was the DREAM TEAM? We have! The dream team is a well-oiled machine, no drama, get sh!t done, and gets it done early kinda team. Each person has his or her strengths that compliments the strengths of the other members. This is the crew that you want to go to happy hour with, the crew you want at your wedding, the crew that makes working with anyone else ever again seem totally stupid.

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When the Bond Goes Too Far?

The bonds we create at work can be tricky when the “work husband” jokes feel like there’s some truth to them. At work there is a bit more freedom in making flirty remarks or conversation because there’s less pressure and there’s a guarantee that you are seeing this person pretty much every day. While on paper, and according to HR, that would deter people from pursuing romantic gestures, it creates an environment where the pressure is removed. There is no pressure to come up with the most witty pick up line. There’s no pressure to ask for someone’s number and there isn’t an assumption that sex is on the table simply because you enjoy each other’s company the way there might be when you meet someone on a Saturday night at a bar. Removing this pressure allows coworkers to get to know each other at a more realistic pace and on a day-in and day-out basis, which is why so many couples meet at work.

Then again, we’ve been faced with situations where you might mistake a romantic situation for simply a friendship. Since you are at work, you are primarily just being yourself. So your “work husband” is getting to know you in so many different ways, not just how he would on a date. They see the good side, the pissed off side, and the “I’m f*ing exhausted” side on a pretty regular basis. With that level of comfort and no pressure, you may let your guard down so much so that the friendship gets mistaken as something more than that. You are essentially bi-passing all of the small talk and silly get to know you questions and cutting right to the chase of knowing this person inside and out, “Hmm… we get along really well, this person knows a lot about me… so what does that mean?” This is the tricky part because it might cross lines that it shouldn’t, or even worse one person might start to catch feelings that the other person isn’t feeling. However you want to keep the same friendship and bond going. So just because you are close, it doesn’t mean that you have to date, it’s okay to just have a really great friendship!

So whatever your work friends are to you, we hope that you either have someone to roll your eyes with about Sue in Accounting, have someone to grab drinks with after work, or hey maybe you met your sigo….or someone who thought they should be your sigo but turned out it really wasn’t meant to be and you’re still the best of friends!

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For the Moment Friends

Processed with VSCO with c3 presetProcessed with VSCO with c3 presetProcessed with VSCO with m5 presetWe are lifelong friends. Yup, that’s right, friends literally since birth [if you missed the story of us, check it out here]. Over the last nearly 3 decades, however, we have needed to make friends outside of each other since we went to different colleges, lived in different parts of the country, have had different jobs, etc. Through these experiences we’ve come to learn that sometimes a friendship is simply for the moment. Sometimes you make a friend because you need one, and this person serves a purpose in your life and you serve one in theirs.

Saying that someone serves a purpose in your life sounds a bit harsh but really it’s the simplest way of saying that this person comes into your life for the right reason at the right time, even if he or she wasn’t meant to be a your new best friend forever. It’s honestly kind of crazy how this happens when you really think back and reflect on why this person came into your life. It’s just like any relationship, however since we have experienced this more than once, we’ve realized that things really do happen for a reason.

Hey everyone, Sweetness here! I wanted to give my perspective on “there for the moment” friends. There was a time when I was newly single and all of my friends were in relationships. I really “needed” someone to be my single counterpart to go out with and experience this new single life with. This friend came into my life and the relationship was just simply that – we would go out, meet new people, talk about all the troubles of being single together and really use each other for that daily support. One day, this friend got into a romantic relationship and our friendship ended up fading out. Disappointed at first, I came to realize that it wasn’t meant to be a “lifelong” friendship. Our personalities and life values were different, however it was exactly what I needed for that specific moment in time. I needed someone to help get me used to single life again and for me to be able to lean on someone that was going through the same thing. Now that more time has passed, I am feeling much better about my situation and happy that this friendship has moved on!

And as for me, Sass, well I was the first to have a baby in our core group of ladies so I needed someone I could lean on that would truly understand what I was going through. I realized right away how quickly people forget what it’s like to have a newborn, even those who have children! The newborn phase is the longest shortest period (so far anyway) but it is also pretty grueling. Anyway, the point is that I connected with a woman who was previously a mere acquaintance but who had had a baby only a few days before I did. For awhile there it seemed like she was the only person who really felt my pain, my struggles, and my successes as a new mom. It also helped that she was the only person in my world who was awake feeding a crying baby every 2 hours throughout the night….we did our best chatting between 2 and 6am! In the last few months we’ve since gotten the hang of this mommin’ thing and chat less often but I know that I can go to her when I need to vent, to see if something happening to me or the babe is “normal,” and for general mom advice. So, for the moment, she was my lifeline and late-night feeding bestie and while we may not be lifelong, see you every weekend, chat all the time friends, for the moment we were there for each other.

We believe that a “for the moment” bestie, just like any other relationship, can come and go as needed which makes this friendship ultimately a positive one! It can sound negative that a friendship would only be temporary or meaningful to simply serve a purpose but the commonality in both of our examples is that we each needed something that the counterpart in our examples seemed to need too! And who knows, maybe we will need a Saturday night wing woman or a 3am feeding bestie again in the future and these friendships come back around. Or more realistically, maybe Sweetness and her for the moment friend reconnect when they are both in the same place in life or Sass and her for the moment friend have their 2nd baby at the same time and these friendships become deeper once again. The point is that for the moment these friendships were everything and they will either be friendships that come back around or perhaps they were simply there for that one moment in time to help us get by. Because after all, we get by with a little help from our friends.

 

Xo Sass and Sweetness 

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5 Types of Friends you Should Remove

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Processed with VSCO with c3 presetThis topic is a tough one because it’s going to sound harsh, however we really want to make it positive and inspiring. The point behind it is to remove any negativity from your life and to realize that the types of friends we are describing below don’t deserve to be your friend for one reason or another. If being friends with someone is “hard work” or “stressful” then why are you friends with them? Friendship should be easy, rewarding, supportive, and fun. It shouldn’t contain jealousy, bullying, or blame. Now again keeping in mind that friendship is a relationship so there will be points of conflict or disagreement, however in small doses and for valid reasons. If you do find yourself involved with a friend that we describe below, we think it is best for you to move on from that friendship. Let us know if you agree!

 

  1. The friend that creates drama

 

Luckily for both of us, these friends have been long gone since high school! No one wants someone that is always drama filled, especially as life continues to get harder as we get older. These types of people feed off of drama and almost need it in their life. If you find that your friend is always starting an argument with you from something very insignificant or you are always walking on eggshells with this person, you should say bye bye bye.

  1. The friend that chooses a man over you

Ohhh this is a personal favorite!! We could go on and on about this one but we will keep it as short as possible. It’s exactly what it seems… a friend that constantly chooses a man over you does not deserve to be your friend. Now there is a difference (and trust us we aren’t completely innocent with this one); friends are going to hang out with their significant others, it’s a given. The difference though is if you make plans with this friend and then they either cancel because their man suddenly became available or they try to be sneaky and make some sort of excuses to why they can’t hang out. Also, if you had a single friend that suddenly gets into a relationship and you never hear from them again, tell them you hope that relationship lasts because you won’t be here if they try to come crawling back! (too harsh? Nah!)

  1. The flake friend

Somewhat similar to above where this person suddenly cancels plans, however it might not be because they are in a relationship. They just cancel for no reason and “disappear” for a few weeks before they resurface again. They can’t be relied on and you should not fully commit your Saturday night to them because chances are … they will cancel. It is like they almost make plans with you and then decide to go elsewhere if there’s a better option for them. We don’t recommend keeping a friend like this in your life, however if you do, you should set the expectation with yourself ahead of time that they probably won’t stick to the plan.

  1. The friend that doesn’t reciprocate support

This is the friend that expects support from you, however does not give it in return. They expect for you to be available and to be there for them at the drop of a hat, however when you suddenly need them, they aren’t there. A friendship is a two way street and you should equally be there for each other. At one point or another one of you will need the strength of the other person, that’s what friendship is for! Also, even in regards to going out and having fun. If someone is constantly expecting you to come out with them when they invite you, however when you invite them and they don’t come out, is that even a friendship anyway?

5. The friend that has bad habits 

We all have flaws, however this friend has some bad habits that might suddenly start affecting your life. Whether they party too much, don’t take care of themselves, or are constantly negative; you may find that their habits are starting to have an affect on your own life. Someone that is always wanting to go out in the middle of the week may be hard to say no to at first. If you find that you are now falling under their influence and it is something that you do not agree with, it is okay to be selfish and choose yourself over them!

 

 

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